“I really have no reason for continuing as good friends...Please don’t be offended. As life changes, so do the status of relationships.”
A person I once considered as a close friend texted this to me last week. I will explain.
I know that I haven’t always been the perfect friend. Over the past 5 years, I have known amazing friendships. I don’t think I knew what it meant to be a friend until I left for college. I was blessed with amazing friends like Kayla, Lisa, Whitney, Jonna, and Desire (just to name a FEW). I never knew that you could have such close friendships--and with people who lead you closer to Christ--challenging me in my walk with Him and pretty much every other area in my life (whether I wanted it or not). I had never been as honest before, with anyone. I was truly blessed when God brought them into my life.
But there was a friendship that existed that I thought also belonged in that group. I was wrong--very wrong. After investing in this friendship for several years, it pretty much ended overnight. I was so confused. I tried staying in contact with this person, but soon all contact faded to nothingness. After a year of trying to figure out what happened, I finally got an explanation: “as life changes, so do the status of relationships.” Wow. That hurt.
I do understand that relationships change, but this was a little different. This wasn’t even something that was a gradual change. It was all of a sudden--almost as if it was premeditated that the friendship was going to end. This person told me they had no reason for continuing being good friends with me. I felt used. At that moment I realized that I had invested my time and energy in a friendship that was no longer existent. What I had truly invested in was a fair weather, one-sided relationship full of selfishness--someone who wanted friendship on their own terms, on their own time. I wished I would have known that was going to happen. I was really hurt--beyond words.
Sometimes I think we need to be reminded of what true friendship is. I needed to be reminded as well. After really being hurt by someone who claimed to be my friend, I now understand what a friend is.
My dad gave me this scripture to look up this morning: Proverbs 17:17. It says: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” I know we have all heard this scripture read a thousand times, but do we truly understand what it is saying? Let’s break it down a bit.
A friend loves at ALL times. Not just when things are going well. Not when you are looking your best. Not when you are making a lot of money. Not when you are in the best mood. A friend loves you at all times--when you are down and when you are up, regardless of time and distance.
Check your friendships. Do they match up with this scripture? Are you a Proverbs 17:17 friend? If not, ask God to show you how to be one. I’m asking Him too!
