This is real life.

I've got a lot to say but not too sure how to put it into words. This is my mere attempt.

I've truly realized the importance of daily quiet with the Savior. Without Him, a day is not worth living. Everything is out of place and basically screwed up. This morning I woke up with a million different thoughts invading my mind of everything I needed to do and the thought of the lack of money in my bank account. Instead of surrendering everything to God, I went straight to the computer to try to sort things out. Immediately I remembered my personal goal of not doing anything else in the day until I read my Bible and prayed. Consequently, nothing was accomplished at that moment. My mom asked me to go the doctor with her that morning. While sitting in the waiting room, I was flipping through the magazines, and remembered once again that I had not spent time with my Father. I pulled out my Bible and began reading. Ah! I felt SO much better.


My life at the moment is not where I want it to be, but I know it's where God wants me. I am home in VA waiting. Waiting? For what? Well, I'm not too sure of that. My heart longs to be back in Baltimore, but I haven't found a job there yet. I job hunt pretty much everyday. I graduated in May with my Bachelors degree in Church Leadership from Patten University. I thought for sure I would have a job after I graduated, but God had other plans. I've learned in my short life that an open door is not necessarily the right door. I've also learned that a closed door is not always closed. I've learned that if I wait, God does some pretty awesome things in the midst of my helplessness. Waiting does not come easily for me, and I think that's why God makes me do it a lot. If I received a report card for my walk with Christ, for the area labeled "Waiting" I would definitely receive an "N"--needs improvement. That's an area I have not mastered. So I will continue to wait until I get it right.


If you're waiting, hang in there! God loves you too much to leave you there. Here are two scriptures that may be beneficial to you. Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands." Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Fulfillment and completion are two promises that keep me hoping and believing for greatness in my life, and I believe it for yours as well. Let's believe for each other!

So today I did something I've never really done before. My parents were gone to a conference this afternoon so I decided to go to the pool. I've never gone to the pool by myself (that's not the something, though). It just doesn't seem like it's one of those things you do alone. The pool is boring without other people around--even if it's my niece and nephew clinging to my neck to stay afloat at the YMCA. Actually they're awesome swimmers with their little lifejackets. They look like little fish. Cate always wants me to watch her twirl, and CJ wants to be a shark and eat me. Anyway, that's completely besides the point. 


I was alone at the pool. At first I got in and did a couple laps, but it definitely was not fun. Plus, the pool was pretty dirty with debris at the bottom and weird things floating on top--including bugs. I decided to get out. So I grabbed my towel and a lounge chair and pulled out my green ipod attempting to find just the right song from one of my playlists titled "Chill." 
Here's the "something." I actually laid back on my chair and watched the clouds. I know that sounds petty, but I've never really paid attention to clouds before. To me they were just big puffy things in the sky that held no meaning in my life. But today they were actually breathtaking. The sky was an unbelievable shade of blue, and the clouds were so puffy I wanted to squeeze them wishing they were cotton. They were moving at a rapid speed too. I tried the whole "what do you see in the clouds thing", but that didn't go over too well. I started trying to see things and only ended up forming completely random objects. Then a bird would fly by, and I would lose all concentration. The clouds held my attention for a while, and I realized how I had completely ignored their beauty before. 

I don't want to automatically go spiritual on you guys, but sometimes we truly do forget the beauty of God. Our eyes are focused on a million other things, and we simply forget what He looks like. Sometimes we just have to step away from life for a second. There is an amazing bond between the Creator and His creation. I need to reconnect with Him. I've realized today, I need to spend a little more time looking up--in more ways than one. 

Well, I'm back to the blogging world. I had a blog before I left for college, and then I never kept up with it. Well, I've graduated now, so here's to a new start! [Everyone gets their laptops and clings them together, carefully.] 


I am writing from a hotel in Greensboro, NC. I am home for a short period of time then back to Baltimore. We are in Greensboro for the Pentecostal Holiness Campmeeting. I can only imagine your thoughts right now. Pentecostal Holiness does NOT mean dresses down to the ankles and long hair (for the women). Totally different. Pentecostal Holiness is a Pentecostal denomination much like Church of God, but I don't really want to go into all that. Too much to type! :D

Anyway, I'm here with the parents--just me. It's kind of fun that way, but I do miss my little brother and only younger sibling, Danny (the other 3 are older). He is at Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Center for the summer. He is 19 years old and Autistic. He has a disorder called Aspergers syndrome. You can do your own research on that. Anyway, I miss him a lot, and can't believe we're not together right now. Being away from home a lot can be a little overwhelming at times. I miss seeing my parents and being around all my "little" best friends. That is, Alex (7), CJ (6), Cate (4), and Bianca (2)--my nephews and nieces. They are my loves! My sister, Carrie, is also my best friend. I hate that we're apart! But I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be no matter how difficult it is. God gives me peace while I'm away and holds my heart together until I get to see them again. 

Well, I'm not going to belabor this post. I've got a lot to write about, but I think for an initial post this will suffice. Many posts to come! Looking forward to it.

My Jamz


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Acts 17:27

"...he is not far from each one of us."

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Collinsville, Virginia, United States
...Without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14 [Jesus] Be my relentless pursuit always. ♥ ♥ ♥ Jesus ♥ Family ♥ Friends ♥ Music ♥ Media ♥

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